To ensure your feedback is clearly understood and effectively implemented, follow these rules.
Giving feedback is a great art, as feedback isn't always received in the way it was intended.
However, avoiding feedback isn't the solution either. Giving feedback is important and helps organizations progress.
We humans learn from feedback; it can motivate us and help us to better realize our potential. Whether you're in a leadership position or not, give your colleagues regular feedback on their work.
Golden Rules for Constructive Feedback
Be aware of your own motivation for giving feedback. Feedback is not meant to vent frustration, express your opinion, or judge someone.
Describe your perceptions or observations instead of making evaluations, assumptions, speculations, interpretations, moral judgments, or threats.
Think carefully about what you want to say; formulate precisely, comprehensibly, concretely, and with I-messages.
Your feedback must be factually correct and useful.
Limit yourself to a few important points. If you have other points, address them separately later.
Be respectful and honest, and treat your counterpart as an equal.
Address changeable behaviors that your counterpart can influence.
Give negative feedback face-to-face, without other listeners. When giving negative feedback, don't forget to also praise what is good.
Consider what reactions your feedback might trigger and prepare yourself for them.
Make sure you've been understood correctly. Have an open ear and give an opportunity to respond.
Offer support if desired.
Achieving Your Goal Quickly with the OIR Rule
A quick method for applying feedback is the OIR Rule. The three letters stand for: describe Observation, explain Impact, formulate Request.
A practical example: Instead of saying «You're late for the meeting again» you say:
«I've noticed that you often arrive a few minutes late to our meetings.» (Observation)
«This annoys me and makes me feel like the meetings aren't that important to you and that you don't care that others have to wait for you.» (Impact)
«I would like us to be able to start our meetings on time in the future, thank you.» (Request)
By the way: Feedback is not commands. It's up to the recipients what they do with it.
(This article was revised and first published on November 6, 2023)
