Introverts at Work

Rina explains: “I’d love to say something, but by the time I’ve found the right words, the discussion has already moved on.” She admits that this is frustrating. However, she hasn’t spoken to the team leader about it yet; she prefers to stay in the background.

Perhaps you recognise situations like this from your own working life: you have something to contribute, but the conversation moves faster than your thoughts.

Rina is not alone in this experience. She considers herself an introvert: she prefers to think things through before speaking, and draws her energy from quiet moments rather than from the group. In lively meetings, this can be a disadvantage, even though her contributions would often be particularly well thought-out.

In today’s working world, communication is ‘the be-all and end-all’, and introverts don’t exactly have it easy. Speaking loudly is seen as a sign of competence, and colleagues often follow the most dominant voice rather than the best idea. Small talk at the coffee machine or during drinks can become a nightmare, and introverts might miss out on important opportunities simply to avoid networking.

Preparing for small talk

Occupational psychologist Alina Ferraro puts it this way: ‘It’s a misconception to think that small talk always has to happen completely spontaneously. As an introvert, you can also prepare for small talk situations. There are even courses on the subject that you can attend, which help to reduce any anxiety further.’ It’s best to practise in familiar surroundings first, trying out different topics and situations. “In the office or at networking events, it also helps to specifically pick out people and approach them. If you know someone a little, it’s naturally even easier to go up to them and talk directly about a topic. Sometimes this automatically helps you find your way into the group.”

Once initial topics have been identified and other people may join the conversation, it becomes easier for the introvert to stay within the group, as they have already found their point of reference. Ferraro also points out that communication is always a two-way process. One’s sphere of influence is limited, and no single person bears sole responsibility for ensuring that communication succeeds. Neither the introvert nor the group seeking to include an introvert can manage it without the other party. This can take the pressure off both sides and generally ease the situation.

She also highlights the importance of body language. “As well as the content of what is said, non-verbal communication is, of course, very relevant. You should be aware that you don’t just communicate with words. Non-verbal and paraverbal communication account for over 80 per cent. It can therefore be helpful to specifically develop these skills, for example through courses,’ says Alina Ferraro.

Meetings: Harnessing your strengths

Meetings are a particularly challenging aspect of everyday working life for introverted employees.

The authors Susan Cain (*Quiet*, 2013) and Silvia Löhken (*Quiet People – A Strong Impact*, 2012) explore the topic in depth.

Susan Cain criticises the fact that extroverts often receive more visibility in the office: those who speak a lot are perceived as more competent, even though the amount one speaks and the quality of one’s contributions are unrelated. Well-considered contributions from introverts are lost if meetings are not deliberately structured to give quiet voices a chance to be heard.

Silvia Löhken focuses on the individual: introverts do not need to speak louder in meetings to make an impact. They should make targeted use of their own strengths: thorough preparation, substance, attentive listening and analytical thinking. Those who prepare thoroughly, time their contributions carefully and, where necessary, follow up with written notes, will be heard without having to compromise their true selves. At the same time, introverts need to conserve their energy, as intensive meetings take more out of them than they do out of extroverts.

In her view, good preparation is therefore half the battle when it comes to introverts succeeding in meetings.

Tips and tricks for a successful meeting

If you want to improve, bear the following points in mind when preparing for and conducting meetings.

Before the meeting

• Think carefully in advance about what you want to say and get your thoughts to the point. Introverts may be prone to giving overly detailed explanations, so keep your comments concise.

• Make sure you contribute something to every meeting. You’ve given the topic some thought beforehand, and the group benefits from your knowledge and the substance of your contributions. Your preparation – such as reading the agenda in advance, noting down key arguments and a question – will help you with this.

• Important decisions are often made before the formal meeting: reach out to decision-makers – via email, in one-to-one conversations or in smaller groups – so you can forge alliances.

During the meeting

• Consciously seize the right moment to present key messages clearly and in a structured way; don’t wait for your expertise to become apparent of its own accord. Your contribution is only successful if others are actually listening to you. Don’t get bogged down in details; get to the point. Be mindful of your body language.

• Be familiar with the rules and rituals of the meeting, because those who know them can navigate meetings with confidence. Speaking time depends on status: a higher status allows you to speak for longer and stray from the topic. If you’d rather say less, try to contribute more often.
• If interrupted by colleagues at the same level, remain firm: a friendly ‘Just a moment…’ serves as a signal; then carry on speaking.

• Volume does not equal power: friendly assertiveness and persistence have a stronger effect than raising your voice.
• When faced with attacks, bring the discussion back to the facts in a matter-of-fact way, e.g. ‘Which figures are you referring to?’

Rina has put these tips for a successful meeting into practice: she jotted down in advance what she wanted to contribute and spoke up right at the start of the next team meeting. Her colleagues listened attentively, and Rina realised how good it felt to finally be heard.